So today was a frustration-more unprofessionalism, but more importantly, while listening to my internet radio (which was set to orchestral movie soundtracks) I came to the important realization of how I only wish I could create such beautiful art. I also want to take the time here and now to wish I was John Williams so I could say I composed the Star Wars theme...but really, I am in awe of how prolific and amazing a lot of these composers are. I'm not just speaking directly at movie/videogame composers on that, but just composers in general. How do they do it!? It is so beyond my abilities right now to compose something as simple as a quartet song...let along something as grand as a full programmatic concerto or opera!
But I feel that before I despair that I remember one important fact-that at one point, the sound and abilities I am generating as a musician I believed to be out of my grasp. It is all a matter of learning, creating, seeing the patterns, recreating, and above all, be passionate about that drive. These geniuses that I listen to were once at the same stage I am! Will I ever create the next great thing? Who knows? But I do know that I will try to compose and create, because I hear music in me all the time, and only under trial by fire will I gain a full idea of how to get it outside of my head.
I wish everyone could be driven to complete their artistic visions in any venue (myself included) only because it would make this world so much more. Or maybe that is a pipe dream, and if it is, it's a good one.
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