Unmasked!

Last we left our intrepid splendiferous hero, Elliptical Man, skirmishing for food after successfully completing an important event to rekindle people's love for fine Jewish composers. Elliptical Man's family even sojourned to attend the event. During our hero's perilous search for a fine dining establishment, he notes the calm that has come over the city.

"Perhaps," he considers, "because I fed the Tubby Tabby her tuna tonight that the town has turned to such a peaceful state, or maybe it was a fantastic concert, either way, things seem to be at peace."

However, as he said these things aloud, gusts began to tussle the tree's branches. Knowing that the only reason wind

would suddenly kick up and possibly tamper with an otherwise good evening, it meant that the Pocatello Wind had heard him monologging...but then, he would have had to be in hearing distance, and withing the Perkin's Parking Lot, there was nobody but him and his family.

His father being hard of hearing was not a logical choice, his girlfriend had been with him many times, and never had the wind whipped when she was present. So it left only one option...that the Pocatello Wind must be... his own brother!

What will become of these shattered family values! How will the plot thicken? Whatever happened to that cop gocart thing? And will the Tubby Tabby ever shut up!? Find out in our next issue!

Infernal!

Our unscrupulous hero was last seen changing his location, feeling that his old nesting grounds to be safe, he moved closer to the central area of town. Close to his daily life, it adds a sense of security to his identity to be so close to his alter-ego's hub of activity. Even for heros, moving can be a trying task to take on, with boxing, packing, moving, cleaning, unpacking, it takes a great wealth of energy to do it all.
Having successfully unpacked most of the house, Elliptical Man decided to do some celebrating! Without the help of the Tubby Tabby (whom has been tragically lethargic with suspicion having moved right across the street from the Dumpster Cats), EM sought all day for the right materials, food, and favors to through a mini luau! The day was warm and sunny, perfect to fire up the grill and get some kabobs ready for the lady, and in style too!
As always though, the Pocatello Wind is with a sense of irony. Having placed all the fun decorations (thrifty Mr. Elliptical Man got them at the local dollar store) our hero was ready to get the coals burning with anticipation of the skewered entrees to come. Before you could give to strides to the nearest stop sign, the bastard of bad attitudes, the ruiner of meals, the Pocatello Wind had struck, bringing with him a terrible rain storm!
Our hero, never to cave to any evil threat, stayed on to man the grill, and get the celebratory dinner no matter what! Toiling with effort, and shielding the grill from rain using local tabliture, EM was successful at foiling the Wind's effort to ruin his good times, and thus Elliptical Man saved the day once again!

The new threat emerges

Pocatello's dirtier face has emerged once more. While the Pocatello Wind has Elliptical Man bound in his diabolical clutches, the Tubby Tabby has found her own arch rival to battle, or make that a collective of rivals, the Dumpster Cats. A roving gang of violent mannered felines, they were raised on the streets learning to steal what they can. They created a base of operations in a local dumpster located on one of the highest hills in the city, where they watch and plot from afar. They are only four cats strong, but have caused ceaseless problems within the town.

Beware of these walking flea bags of bain, they are the Dumpster Cats!

Jed and Barrett

Time changes everything. None knows this better than Elliptical man, who has for years witnessed astounding changes to the town he resides in. The Pocatello Wind is also shifting, changing, much like time. This time around though, time brought to our do-goody hero new neighbors, the odd couple as it were.

Tiny, miniscule, shaky, Jed was all you could ever expect from a pocket sized chihuahua. Barrett was a large man, with large glasses, but a simple minded gentle man none-the-less. An inspirational duo for our hero to always remember that time may take a toll on us, but as long as we bring our friends and family with us, we may never be alone!

Interceptor!

Never a dull day for our hero, Elliptical Man. The ever changing weather has caused the population to plummet into a state of unrest, all according to Pocatello Wind's plans. Our hero, caught in the maelstrom of mundanity with the rest of his people, has allowed crime to persist where it once was dashed away in a single stride, and the Tubby Tabby is distracted with trying to destroy bedsheets. But fear not, for there is a new hero in town to help! Taking on the guise of an average meter maid, he rides around in a modified golf cart, scouting his town for any injustices with vehicles or pedestrians, a man of insipid insurgence towards illegal activity, Interceptor! You've been warned J walkers and 3-space parkers alike, your days are numbered!

Aha!

Upon successfully devouring the evil that was the can of Speggheti-O's, Elliptical Man is doubly bombarded by stupid needy victims of Pocatello Wind's Brain Drain Lazer, as well as dominant-tritone substitution chords! (For those of you just joining us with this issue, or missed the last, our hero has been affected by Pocatello Wind's Gust of Change, a nefarious weapon no person can resist!) His energy waning, from the cold as well as supposed failure in his academic affairs, Elliptical Man is fighting for the energy to continue running on!

Will this winter chill freeze our hero to the core? Will he keep enough gumption to keep on plodding towards his big debut? Will the Tubby Tabby loose that extra two pounds of dry kibble?

Stay tuned!