Unmasked!

Last we left our intrepid splendiferous hero, Elliptical Man, skirmishing for food after successfully completing an important event to rekindle people's love for fine Jewish composers. Elliptical Man's family even sojourned to attend the event. During our hero's perilous search for a fine dining establishment, he notes the calm that has come over the city.

"Perhaps," he considers, "because I fed the Tubby Tabby her tuna tonight that the town has turned to such a peaceful state, or maybe it was a fantastic concert, either way, things seem to be at peace."

However, as he said these things aloud, gusts began to tussle the tree's branches. Knowing that the only reason wind

would suddenly kick up and possibly tamper with an otherwise good evening, it meant that the Pocatello Wind had heard him monologging...but then, he would have had to be in hearing distance, and withing the Perkin's Parking Lot, there was nobody but him and his family.

His father being hard of hearing was not a logical choice, his girlfriend had been with him many times, and never had the wind whipped when she was present. So it left only one option...that the Pocatello Wind must be... his own brother!

What will become of these shattered family values! How will the plot thicken? Whatever happened to that cop gocart thing? And will the Tubby Tabby ever shut up!? Find out in our next issue!

Jed and Barrett

Time changes everything. None knows this better than Elliptical man, who has for years witnessed astounding changes to the town he resides in. The Pocatello Wind is also shifting, changing, much like time. This time around though, time brought to our do-goody hero new neighbors, the odd couple as it were.

Tiny, miniscule, shaky, Jed was all you could ever expect from a pocket sized chihuahua. Barrett was a large man, with large glasses, but a simple minded gentle man none-the-less. An inspirational duo for our hero to always remember that time may take a toll on us, but as long as we bring our friends and family with us, we may never be alone!

What's that, striding up the street!?

Is it a circus performer? A hobo with big sticks!? NOO!!! It's Pocatello's greatest superhero! Eliptical Man! Once an ordinary college student trying to major in Buisiness or Economics or something like that, that one day discovered online shopping! Perusing a popular site of percarious pieces of perfected products, he found an item that would change his life forever. Invented by a supposed crazed hobo who claimed to be the duke of lower east Manhattan, it was a bicycle that had its pedals replaced with an Eliptical Excersize machine!

A supposed shot of the Hero being chased by the villian...could it be a fake?

He now strides at furious speeds (rumored to be above 30mph!) to stop evil wherever it rears its ugly head! His weaknesses include steep hills, road blocks, unpaved surfaces, and walls!

He enjoys towering over all the small children as he just stays close enough behind them to scare them, also he likes to try and grab cats from trees...or put them up there, depending on the time of day.

His greatest rival is none other than the speedy dodger the Pocatello Wind!! Nobody knows much about the Pocatello Wind, only that it wreaks havoc upon the town, causing slight irritableness to all who dwell there! The battles between the two are epic...for the 4months a year where it's actually nice to go outside.

Keep your eyes peeled Southern Idaho, for your streets are being protected by Eliptical Man!!