Reflective Self Indulgence

        It has been a year since I graduated with my bachelors degree in music.  I can't help but think of where I was a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, four years ago, five years, six years...yes, I'm reflecting on my whole undergraduate experience. It seems odd to think that it was as far as seven years ago for me, since I still view 18 year old me the same as I see today me (though I realize they aren't the same person, they are in the same period of life to me).  And odder still, I felt each year in college had an overarching theme to it.  I don't know why I feel that is true, but when I reflect, that's how I see it.

Year 1- Social Meltingpot
         I always looked at my freshmen year as a culmination of how the different social philosophies all coexist in an environment such as college.  Really, from when I first entered the dorms there was a sense of communism- no one of us had everything, but each one of us would have at least one thing we were more than willing to share.  It was brilliant!  One of us would have beer to share, one of us would have the plush room to chill in, one of us would have food to share around, one of us would have a car, one of us would have...  you see my point?  We would all share and create a community based on sharing what we had free of charge.  Enter one of my favorite life philosophies- beer shall be paid in kind with more beer.
       Then you had the socialist atmosphere of how a college is run in general.  You had free lunches provided by the institution, as well as the student health clinic, library, wifi, access to the buildings on campus, the heirarchy of professors.  It was a layered system, but it benefited us all in a different way.  It provided us all with opportunities to move forward, which was exactly the way it is supposed to be.
      Capitalism is of course looking for jobs and the traditional college spending sprees.  Face it, college students have enough money to get what they want.  How many college students do you see eating ramen while watching Netflix on their iPhone?  Those things cost money, it's just that the average college student has chosen to allocate their money to "fun" things over essential things.  So you find crappy jobs to pay your way through it all and hope for the best.  Not to mention we all still have to eat and buy textbooks and other essentials.
       Even mercantilism was represented by trading among other folks you don't know.  You may have something you thought was great, or was necessary, for a time.  Though it is still in just as good of condition as when you bought it, it is no longer of use to you.  Such as textbooks or old technology.  So instead of selling it to students who couldn't even afford it on used conditions, you may just trade for something they have you need of equal value.  Textbooks I honestly say are the basis for this thought, and why not?  Trading a Bio101 book for an Econ101 book is a pretty straight trade- both are about 150$, and useless after the class is over.
        I will be honest- this was also the most memorable year of my life purely because it was all new.  I was an adult, and I took care of myself and learned how to budget money, time, energy, and all manner of resources.

Year 2- Year of Silent Meditation
       My first year I studied a lot of how western civilizations worked and progressed.  My second year I started taking a lot of eastern philosophy classes- specifically in Zen philosophy and Daoism.  I wanted to find some solace with myself all year.  My friends from my first year seemed to have ignored me after the summer came and went, not to mention my roommate ran away and left me holding a bag I could never get someone to help with (I couldn't sell my contract, and nobody wanted to room with me).  So I took classes on alien cultures to me, and I found that it fit me.  I began mindful meditation, living in the moment.  I started to curb my angst and anger into productive thoughts and advanced my studies farther than I thought I was ever able to do.
       I began reading Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac as well as a few interpretations of The Legend of the Monkey King, several poetry books, and of course the Dao de ching. I participated in more cultural programs brought by the University and talking to people from the countries I was studying.  I can't say I found religion, but I was able to find peace within myself.  Everything that year had a tinge of the Orient, and I only was able to see it because I was forced into a moderate state of solitude.

Year 3- How Life Works
       By year three I was once more living with friends, dating, and finding a lot out about life.  From a social aspect it was your typical college experience.  But my studies in Zoology had become very advanced and sophisticated.  I began seeing the world in all its splendid beauty as a functioning organism.  The chemistry of all animal interactions, the biophysics of their movement and actions, the intermixture the ecosystem provided.
       But as stated, I also began to look into my life as a biological thing.  As a human we are social creatures, we need social interaction, we have to have friends.  This was also the year my grandmother passed away, which I had a hard time coping with.  She and I were very close, and she was my first music teacher, and in fact the person who pushed me along with music the most.  I feel I owe her a huge part of my life, but we must all die.  And from all that I realized what the family unit meant to our social species- developementally, biologically, ecologically, it is a pretty resilient survival technique we've developed.
       Love and lust are natural things- as are all emotions.  Adding that to my mindful meditation I saw the year as a lesson on how things worked, how life is cultivated and executed and everything in between.

Year 4- How to Live Life
       This was a year of a lot of change.  I decided to do the stupid thing and move in with my girlfriend, a move I do not regret.  The way everything in this year played out, I learned you should do what you love.  The start of it was spent moving with my girlfriend and best friend from highschool.  I decided that year that every week I should try something new- an idea from my girlfriend which I loved.  I will admit that it usually boiled down to a new food or drink, but we all have to start somewhere.  My boss also gave me more hours, which allowed me more luxuries and abilities.  Unfortunately, I could only go so far with it, but I tried.
       The year continued with a lot of drama, how to cope and work with it is always a difficult situation.  More importantly, the thought of going into the medical field had less and less appeal to me the more I involved myself in music.  Finally, by the end of the year, I cut a few ties, and changed the path of my life entirely to what I really loved, not what I just had an interest in.

Year 5- Chrysalis
       I won't say a lot on this year.  It was difficult for a lot of reasons.  I lost my perspective on who I was and who I wanted to be and how I wanted to get to any of those things.  There were rifts appearing in all areas of my life and I wasn't sure how to go about fixing them.  Of course, being now 23 I was older than most of my peers and didn't feel like I belonged where I was in life or geographically.  I realized that whatever the outcome of this year, I would become someone different.

Year 6- Aces Wild
       Cards.  Card games.  For whatever that damn 52 card deck of bicycle cards became the common thread for all events in my final year.  I won't get into a lot of the year specifically.  But my favorite song of the year was about cards, I learned several games to help keep my sanity.  I researched a lot of the origins of tarot and how the card deck became an entertainment staple.  And with all the events of the year, I was late on the lesson of "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."  C'est la vie.

What does the future hold for us all?

       Have you ever sat down and wondered what the future of technology will be?  It is easy to speculate about the current affairs in the world at large- how internet will evolve and how the holodeck will become a real thing sooner rather than later.  But these ideas are just taking the obvious route- obviously the successful technology of today will be around for a while yet.
       But what about the technologies we rely on that have already reached their limits?  What about ones that society has now found to be a bad move, like unsafe, fuel-inefficient vehicles? or tanning lotion? Nuclear technology?  What will replace them, and how is it occurring today?
       

The first thing I hope goes- desktops

       Well, here are some thoughts I've been kicking around about a few areas of scientific importance.

Computer memory:

        As i linked earlier in the blog, the limits of silicon memory technology is fast approaching it's end.  This is why we've resorted to things like  the octuple super processor (don't know how many they're up to, but octuple sounds sexy).  Basically they've decided that because one chip has hit its limits, they need more to alter functions super fast.  Basically the way your operating system functions is that it doesn't technically handle more than one thing at a time- but it switches through these functions super mega fast, so if you can flip processors around for more speed and control- well that is one way to get around the limitations of materials.  I believe this will be a thing of the past within 15 years tops.

        Why? Because bioengineering is, in my eyes at least, going to take over.  If you think about it, the basis for our definition of organic life, is that it is carbon based.  So, now graphite processors are in the works and they're nothing but carbon, and surprise, they have resorted in using biological factories to create the finite layers.  This is the beginnings of bioengineering.  Lets take it one step further shall we?  

       Suppose now we have mastered the simple carbon processor- that means learning how to bend and compile the carbon is the next step.  What do you can complex chains of carbon based materials with infrastructures created to bend and coil to maintain speed and extend ability within a given volume? Why, in animals we call them proteins! More specifically, we call it a brain.  So is it really so far out of reach to have a rudimentary artificial brain created, handling our video games and word documents that would have well beyond a yotabyte?  Which brings me to 

Turing Test Approved

       

Scariest sci fi bad guy.

        Turing test, for those that don't know, is the official test of humans to determine if we have successfully created AI.  It basically can be summerized as "it can have an intelligent conversation in which it can learn and move beyond the one step process" which is more than I can say about a great many humans I've actually met.  But, if we can assume that in the next 20 years computers will move beyond, as we understand it today, the memory capacities of humans.  This is to say- computers will be potentially smarter than humans.  So even if we aren't bioengineering brains in our living rooms by this point, we will still have the potential for our MK3 helper bots folding our laundry and talking with us. 

        I know it is a complete hope of a sci-fi nerd to think such a thing.  But to be blunt, it is becoming the realm of possibility- not just early 20th century hooey.

Cloning

         It is difficult for me to think which will win- cyborg tech, or cloning.  But given how far we've advanced in our stem cell tech, I'd have to say regenerating limbs and extending the abilities of our biological clocks will win out in the end.  To put this in perspective- we have only now found an experimental process of integrating a computer chip into a blind person's occipital lobe and wiring it to their eyes so they can see in what basically amounts to technicolor.  On the other foot, we're cloning extinct animals.

        And tell me, what takes more money- a long process of manufacturing chips and wires, or starting a bath of ooze which eventually takes its own shape?  Right now the wires is cheaper, but I'd say that won't take long given how fast the bio industry is slashing prices and trying to accomidate with the zeitgeist of the world's healthcare crisis.

End of the driver regulated freeway

        Was it the Eigthday or some other scifi movie that had cars that autodrove along the highway?  Doesn't matter, it's coming closer and closer to reality.  What would this mean? Cheaper insurence premiums for starters- imagine a world where public roads were 99% efficient- no rush hour, significantly less accidents and fatalities, less emmisions, more fuel efficiency, it would be great!  It is of course difficult to trust yourself to a new system like an autopilot- but you would get used to it.  Kind of like how we have got used to microwaves reheating our food instead of ovens or fire; or how our digital clocks wake us up; or our water heaters don't blow up on us; or how we blindly follow our GPS to wherever we're going instead of using paper maps and compasses.  Despite our reservations, computers are more efficient and less erronous than humans- if something is wrong, it is usually because of human input error on one end or the other.

        But if public roads were just autodestinations, you could just assume if there is an accident, an entire network of vehicles and smart roads could record WHY that accident occurred- computer glitch or human error.  One way would be costly for you, the other, would keep insurance companies poor.  It would take time to impliment of course, but so did the freeway system and cars in general.

The end of Capitalism

        Yes, even economies are just a societal technology constructed out of the simple natural law of economics.  I say the end of Capitalism, meaning as we understand it.  Free markets are a dumb idea- it replaces autocratic entities that hold all the money to private company barons who hold all the money.  Same thing, different names.  So we create a balance of Socialism and Capitalism.  Eventually that Socialism will take more and more shape to fit each country's unique build- this is not the same Socialist ideas of certain Russians of the past.  This is it in a more balanced, less forced, manner which doesn't give governments OR people complete free reign.  

        Why then, do I believe this is coming up so soon (meaning within a century)?  Because with the advent of the world wide web we have digitized our monetary system- giving completely to the fact that money is IMGINARY.  There is no underlying reason money is as valuable as it is, except that people believe it.  So now we no longer have to interact with other humans to allow money flow, and since nobody has any idea what the limits of money are, we can just pretend there is more and more and nobody will know.  Money will eventually lose much of its importance to other economic derivitives- such as information or, as always, labor.  So then if we, as communities communicate less and less with each other, we lose that collective grasp of how our city/town/county/state/country is doing economically.  Who then keeps track, or cares?  Why, companies!  So either companies will take over and nations will dissapear- in which case free market is gone, because technically speaking the market is now the government; or the government will learn how to watchdog and police giant companies.  Hell, I don't actually think Marx was too far from the mark with his thoughts of the evolution of societies- not to say his interpretation at specific points and how they were carried out weren't just crazy...

Eugenics (unfortunately)

        Moving along the cloning lines is a darker current- that our understanding of specific genetics will allow for unspeakable horrors.  Our lives are getting longer, increasing in quality, and there will be more humans than ever next year- and that trend will never stop.  This means resources will eventually become scarcer and more valuable.  This means borders will be encroached, and war will be the inevitable outcome.  We understand the issues with nuclear tech- fallout is a bitch for the whole world.  When it comes to diseases they can just as easily be spread back to its creator's origins- very difficult to contain.  But what about diseases that could be launched and activated by very specific- and rare- codons.  

       What this means, is that anybody who carries a vestigial gene code from, lets say Ghengis Kahn, will be killed by Disease X.  That means roughly 1/3 men in the world will be killed, 2/3 will be from European dissent.  Getting where this could go? Leave all the women, kill all the men, find a race, exterminate it.  Put modifiers in the air or water that will sterilize only certains of the population- eugenics at its scariest, and most efficient.

What I wish I could say we will see within a century:

Moon Colony

Mars Colony

Food replicators

Teleporters

unmanned warzones (drone controlled)

Lightspeed crafts

Why won't we see any of this? Because it wouldn't sell.  Because it would be work.  Because only people with imagination or ambition would work for these kind of things.  Unlike a holodeck, which is what the average sedated TV watching human would love to have- myself included.  But, I'd like to believe that with all this computer tech and bio tech we could successfully colonize other worlds and move beyond our scope of perception into the wild black beyond.  We live in a sci-fi age, so why not go along with it?  That's all I can say, for now, I am out of time.

Weaving

       It's one of those nights where epiphany can strike tonight.  I hold to no evidence or mathematics behind what I am about to describe in this post, but it is an interesting thought (or so I think, given that it's 3a.m).

       My thought is in concerns to gravity.  Recently there has been some research and hypotheticals that the phenomena we know as gravity is from the principles of another dimension (6th or 9th dimension alternatives, I'm not entirely sure right now).  This idea would mean that in mass, and in a currently non-perceived way, our universe as we understand it is perferated and leaking this strange glue we know as gravity together.
       Gravity is an accepted theory.  This means it is for all scientific properties and arguments, a valid law that cannot be reproduced in full within a lab setting (like evolution).  Now for those who may not know, scientists still haven't figured out exactly how gravity works.  By current models of modern physics, we have attempted several ways to define and pin down gravity's origins, but in every case so far there is still a glaring problem that contradicts other cornerstones of physics.  Without getting into a great amount of math and details, gravity is the essential middle finger to physics.  Not that there aren't compelling and very valid explanations and ideas about how gravity works, it's just that in conjunction with modern physics laws, gravity becomes the square peg for the round hole.
       So this is where my thought comes in.  What if we have been thinking about the relative shape of our universe all wrong?  I would believe thinking of it as a point is valid.  One stop of many, one instance of night infinite possibilities.  But I don't believe it is a stand alone point.  I think it is a point where two other dimensional possibilities overlap- like the overlapping area of a weave.

My awesome diagram

       Now, with one strand of infinite universes where the only constant would be the physics alienating principle gravity (grey spraypaint line); the other strand would be infinite universes where the only constant would be something else-in this case electron charge (I know, there's a better term for what I'm getting at like subatomic polarity or something sciencey like that, I'm not a physicist, and it's 3a.m).  Now when these two (and admittedly infinitely more) of these strands weave around each other, it would make sense that in the overlapping areas they shared parts of their series together.  It wouldn't be 100%, but maybe it's like a weave made of course rope- minute fibers would scratch their way into the opposing strand, puncturing it randomly, but in some volume.

       This would not only allow for us to conceive of our reality as being a fixated point within the higher dimensions, but would also justify why other dimensional causes would leak into our own.  Then again, now that I'm typing this all out, it just starts to sound vaguely like string theory...  I'll have to read more into it later, as I just wanted to get this down before falling asleep.  You can read more and discuss.

The Fall of Man(liness)

       My last post dealt with the decline of knowing when and what a man is/could/should be.  This post deals into more of the why the idea of what a man is has declined.  Meaning, that when you see men in popular media often times they aren't really "manly," but more just a polished looking guy.  I am not claiming that those two things are mutually exclusive, but in our society they seem to try.

Note: Looks 14 and in a child's suite.

       So as the picture may have tipped off, I'm going to start in with images  popular media blast us with.  I'm not going on a crusade that says men have it worse than women in concerns to impossible body images, not by a long shot.  Though I am saying that men still suffer negative imaging from what popular advertisements portray.  To start, this picture was in the top 3 in my google image search of "male fashion model."  The others were fairly similar, though only focused on the neck and head.  But look at this image- what comes to mind?  Youth, a-symmetrical, straight, clean, smooth, those would be the terms at the forefront for me in the positive (towards the company's end).  Toward the negative side though- clean, shaven, polished, young, bored, soft, in a child's suite.  Yes, I suppose the clothes fit properly, but in a style that traditionally makes the wearer appear more slender and younger.
       When you think of what is man, what ideas generally come to mind?  After a very unscientific survey I presented my friends, these are the terms they came up with: Rugged, beefy, gassy, strong, polite, rough, not dramatic, stoic, independent, primal, hairy, smelly, and that kind of wrapped it up.  Now look at that picture again- does that picture imply any of those ideas? No-the kid has no facial hair, thins his body out intentionally, comes across as too clean, his face looks angst-ridden. Now, compare to this photo:

Picture: A fucking Man

       Now this is a picture of what most of the 20th century agreed was about the most manliest man that ever manned, with the exception of maybe this guy:

Picture: The fucking man

       What do these guys have in common? They are the pinnacle idea of masculinity to many Americans.  They are clean, but they show age.  They show age with facial hair, hair color, care lines on the face, the rustic backgrounds (implicit ideas), Teddy's hands aren't super soft looking, their clothes are nice- but show off the shoulders, hardened eyes, dominant positions in the picture.  These guys look like how men ought to. So somewhere in the last 120 years, we went from these fine specimens, to this:

Where did we go wrong?

       Honestly, this is a tricky question.  Undoubtedly the feminist movement had some weight in this switchover.  Consider that we finally give women their deserved rights (which is still working up in our society), and therefore their opinions gain more value overall (I'm a feminist, so don't think I'm downspeaking women's rights).  So when women want their men to be clean, companies figured out that that was more profitable than trying to sell "odor of the sea" to men's perfume stores.  This is purely speculation of course, the actual reasons probably are more profound, but I strongly believe that this is a large part of the change.

       However, now women are about 4th generation into the women's rights, and it seems the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction.  Given that the current fad is to have facial hair in men, it's the beginning of this swing back.  Granted- the fad seems to be coming from those men whole dove into skinny jeans and women's tees.  But as far as I see, that is popular culture resigning to this swing backwards.
       Now, I don't think men will be in the rugged/rustic fads for a few decades yet, but for now it's just the pendulum swinging back.

Of course I've let this post sit for weeks, so I'm posting it a little unfinished.

What is a man?

When did he go from Joseph to just Joe?

        It is an odd thing in our western societies to consider what it means to be a man.  Unlike more tribal or localized societies that have rights of passage (for both men and women), our first world societies have seemed to abandon, or blurred, the right of passage to nothing.  For instance, in certain African tribes it is the right of passage to kill a lion to be considered a man (at around the age of 14), though due to recent shortages of the animal the boys hunt in packs now, the tradition remains.  Here in America we try to consider that by the time you reach 21 or 18 you are an adult, though it is a blurry definition at best.  How many of you readers honestly felt a major difference from the time you were 15 to the time you were 20? I know the only difference that came to me was moving out on my own, but maturity wise I felt there was little difference.  I didn't honestly consider myself a "man" until roughly 24 years of age.
        Modern neuro-science has shown that both men and women's brains don't finish developing until their mid to late 20's.  I think in western society this is a key to when people actually begin to feel like adults.  No passage or trick to it, just a simple day when you wake up and realize some day you will die, and that there is more to life than there was yesterday.  But still, how is it in less developed societies they can make the jump a full decade earlier?  Is there something to killing a lion, going on a spiritual journey, or consuming the fumes of enlightenment?
        Before going into our western society and what I think creates a person's adult image, I will discuss why I think the rights of passage in less developed societies does make a difference.  First, think about the life expectancy in our first world.  My generation in America, particularly in the Northwestern region, has an average life expectancy of around 80 years.  Compare this to a country, such as the Republic of Congo, which is estimated at 50 years of age for those in the more developed areas- meaning those who still live within tribal establishments are not in consideration of these ideas.  That is nearly twice the life expectancy in the America.  It would make sense then, that a society would push their youth into adulthood prematurely, as we would conceive of it, because they don't have as much time to grow up and start a family.  Even look at America's history, in the 1800's our life expectancy was roughly the same.  And what was the average age of marriage? If you were a girl, your mid teens, and a man, your early 20s.  So by comparison, it can make sense that starting your family early would be of better benefit for society and yourself, because you could just as easily die within the week of a work related accident or hunting accident.
       Now here in America we think it's rather disturbing for people above the age of 18 to be attracted to people under the age of 18.  Biologically this is perfectly normal- after all women are most fertile in their teens, and men their most virile in the 20's, but as a society we have recognized our longevity in life and therefore have placed protection on the youth from older predators.  Why? Because younger women are often attracted to older men, and men know this, and many of them are willing to prey on the young and ignorant for their own ends.  It may be presumptuous to make this claim, but go to any bar in virtually any town, and you will see those grey haired horn dogs hitting on those cute 21 year old blondes- and to greater or lesser degrees succeeding.  So as we are able to grow older and wiser, we place more sanctity on our youth.  This is the beginning of why we lose our rights of passage- we hold onto our youth like there was no tomorrow.
       Next up look at how our capitalist society has flourished and removed ourselves as consumers from the products we consume.  Tribal societies usually only own what they themselves can make or gather.  We have factories where our products come from- from our computers to our goddamn meat and veggies.  Hunting is a sport in our society- it has no reason of existing aside from recreation.  So toss out that "kill your first buffalo" idea on becoming a man- there's meat a  plenty at the Soopermart.  So in the idea of abundance, we no longer are driven out of necessity to push our youth into adulthood to keep our society alive.

This guy is more man then you.

       So what about things like vision quests or pain endurance excersizes?  Well, because our society places so much importance on living to ripe old ages, we have tried to remove harmful chemicals from daily recreation.  From drugs that allowed you to hallucinate, to simple relaxation drugs, American (and most western societies) have removed these from legal use or vogue.  So things like marijuana and nicotine, while may be legal, are not considered to be good or deemed "proper" by society at large because of the long term affects these drugs cause.  The same principle applies to fasting and insominia- we want people to be healthy and old.
       Then what could be considered rights of passage on people in western society?  Since we are a capitalist society, we want to think that when you have your first job or large purchase it transcends you to adulthood.  Think about what your first few jobs were- probably nothing more glamorous than fastfood or cashier work.  I'm a college graduate in his mid 20's that still works these sort of bottom-of-the-barrel jobs because, well, that's what society thinks I am able to handle (which I disagree with, but c'est la vie).  When you encounter these youths at these jobs, you probably don't think, "There's a fine man/woman serving me." You probably have something closer to,  "Another pock marked kid slopping my burgers together, please don't add too much mayo." Then when they do add too much mayo, you ask for their manager and a person in their 30's or 40's comes walking out asking how they can make things right- and bam, there's that adult you were hoping would slop your burgers together from the start.  So we can strike "your first job" off the list of what transcends you into adulthood.

Notice: not an adult

       How about that first car you buy?  There is no denying that serious purchases help you become responsible, but responsibility is not the same and adulthood.  And on top of that, how many people had their first vehicle, but had help paying for their insurance or gas?  Other large purchases can be roped into this same category, but still, how many times have you cussed out a stupid teenage driver? So let us go ahead and strike "major purchases" off of the coming of age act list.
       Then we come to spreading your wings- that time when most people move out of their parents place after highschool.  For many of us this means going to vocational school or college, some of us just choose to move out and work.  To me this is as close to a real coming of age gesture as our society permits.  There is of course still a resentful tone from society in regarding people of this age.  We see the college student working day shifts at a library or bank, and we give them slack because, while they are entering the professional or responsible phase of life, they still are young to us.  But at some point within these years, that personally and by society, we are recognized as an adult.
       I honestly believe that the main contribution to this phenomena is that our brains and bodies develop to a point where you no longer get mistaken for that teen at Burger Joint you supervise.  Though, as a man, I must admit that there are several things I believe our society demands we have experienced before our personalities are confident enough to be called Man.

All man.

I've asked my friends about these experiences and have compiled what I believe to be the common points that push us along:

-Major Purchase (car, house, ...): Any man must understand how to work around large amounts of money to secure property as well as responsibility to provide for himself and others.

-Moving Out of their Parents' place and staying out: I'm not saying it's bad if your family has to help you out from time to time, but if you keep going back to your parent's house to live for years on end, that doesn't really show much growth or maturity.  Let's face it, nobody wants to be the guy living in his parents basement, especially after

-Losing your virginity: I whole heartedly believe you should only have sex once you are ready, which as men, usually comes at around 14.  There is a lot to be said about sex, about how you handle it, and knowing yourself in regards to this.  You can almost tell overnight if a guy  lost his v-card.  They have a tendency to loosen up and no longer place sex on a pedestal.  And once you've had it, you want it more, but you don't work as hard to get it anymore- you have more confidence in yourself, which I believe is key to being a man.

-A few relationships:  I don't care if they are long term or short, but learning how to deal with heartache and the bursting of emotions that lead up to it steel a man's resolve for a long time.  Done properly, you learn how to deal with complex emotions and grow from them; or more commonly how to bottle it up (which I do not advise under any circumstances).

-A fight or two:  I don't advise physical (or mental) abuse of any sort- but fights happen.  If you don't know how to take a hit, or what that pain is like, you are missing out on a fundamental human experience- physical pain.   Knowing what pain is helps you overcome the fear of such a thing.

- Live alone:  You must know who you are, and it's hard to do that until you spend most of your time by yourself for extended periods of time (meaning a year or two).  This isn't to say become a social outcast, but know what kind of person you are inside your domain.  This also gives you the opportunities to find out what you like to do in your free time and what kind of person you really are.

-Doing lots of stupid shit with your friends:  You need stupid stories, they make you more interesting and appealing to everyone.  Yes, when you're older you say, "I can't believe I did that and didn't get killed." That is exactly why you need to do stupid things every now and again, to remember you are mortal, and if you have kids, to make sure they can survive such stupidity.

There are also things in society I believe every man should know.  It seems silly because to define what a man is is a long endeavor, but these are things that kind of go without saying.

Example 1: NOT DIFFICULT TO DO

• Know how to throw a punch.  Someday you WILL have to defend someone or something you care a lot about.  Literally, knowing how to throw a punch can save your life some day, whether or not you succeed in winning the fight- it shows you have balls.
• Know how to drink.  Yes, I mean liquor and beer, and wine for that cultured benefit.  I'm not advertising that you should drink if you don't want to, but you should know how.  Much of the world still clings to drinking contests in lieue of fist fights.  Just engaging and not completely embarassing yourself shows you have brass.
• Know how to smoke-cigarettes, cigars, and pipes.  I don't advise smoking, but know how to do it.  For the same reason as the last two points.
• Know the basics of a car.  I'm not saying know everything about the guts of your motorized vehicle, but be able to point to a part in a car's hood and give its generic name if nothing else.  Sexist? A little, but get over it.
• Know how to spit.  Not kidding.  A guy who can't spit right is probably that same guy that doesn't know
• Pee standing up.  Squatters, while generally cleaner in concerns to toilets, get the shit beat out of them at any age.
• Know how to take a joke/insult and know how to dish them out.  Swapping jokes and insults is a common way men create heirachy- the better you are at it, the higher you will climb.
• Understand the basics of computers.  This follows the same logic as cars.  I'm not saying women don't/shouldn't know these things, but our society places a higher need for men to know this for some reason. Sexist again? Yes, deal with it.
• Understand the basics of common sports.  I'm not a huge sportsfan, but I can still follow  baseball, basketball, football, tennis, fencing, soccer, rugby, and bar sports.  So should you.
• Know a few knots.  Yes, we're in the 21st century and knots as a technology peaked in the 1800s, but it is still pivotal to know how to do at least 1 hitch knot, 1 slip knot, and at least a square knot.  Not to mention 
• Know how to tie a tie.  Yes, you should know to do this by the time you're interested in women.  No excuses.  Know at least how to do- Square know, Half-windsor, and full-windsor.  They're not hard, and women will be impressed (even though they expect it).
• Know how to dress appropriately.  You don't need to know the difference between an Italian stuffed three layer suit and a simple factory American style suite, but you should damn well know when you should be wearing a tuxedo (and whether it's a white or black tie affair), versus a less formal suite, or street clothes.  This leans into more than just social affairs, it also is important for job interviews and dates.
• Know the brown vs. black rule in dress clothes.  You can mix brown and black, but you have to know how.  Think of main color vs. trim.  If your shoes are black, so should all accessories- such as belts, bracelets/watches...  You can have a black vest if your suit jacket is brown, that's ok.  But if you aren't sure, just stick to simplicity.
• Own a pair of work boots.  You'll thank me.
• Know how to drive a manual transmission.  It's not hard, and as mentioned earlier, we still live in a biased society.
• Know how to shave. You're a guy, this should be practiced since you first entered high school- regardless of facial hair status.  I've known some guys who had their girlfriends shave them.  That is weak and pathetic, don't be that guy.
• Know how to do laundry/clean your house. 
• Know how to shake hands properly.  It isn't rocket science, but to say what's probably been beaten into you since you were five- "it should be firm, but not crushing, or limp."
• Know the basics of hunting.  Though I doubt you will ever be in a situation for long without a Piggly Wiggly around, if you do find yourself stranded, you have to eat.  Traps, firearms, knives, and the ability to actually kill an animal for sustaining yourself/others is something men should familiarize themselves with.

This guy exhibits everything I've said.

This is a longer post, but I actually combined two posts into one because I realized they fit together.  I'm not professing I am an expert on everything man.  Hell, I have a couple ex's who would probably laugh you out of the room if you called me a man.  But this is what I've observed as being the commonality of men in the western hemisphere.

5/30/12 Journey's End

       Even hangovers don't make a worse morning than this one was.  Up by 5, on the bus by 7.  We had a long drive over to the airport in Munich, and the whole way, I could only contemplate how odd that in approximately a day's time, I would be over 6000 miles away, in a place that felt more alien to me than the brief places I had visited over these two weeks.  The scenery changes pretty drastically going from the Alps over to the woods of Germany, and then the clearing of those woods to show the wide metropolitan spread that is the city of Munich.  It becomes believable how stories, like the ones the Brothers Grimm, came from the area, shaded, darkened, and easy to get lost in.
        We get tot he airport and be damned if it wasn't a horrible experience.  We have to say  farewell to our guide, and he was just as sad to see us go as we were him.  But true to himself, he didn't make the goodbyes long, he said to the group on a whole, and headed to his plane to the next tour group-the life of a guide, always on the go.
        The Munich airport is divided into three security areas- the area outside ALL security is basically a mall.  Now, with higher security, came higher prices of things, so the bottom floors were already expensive by most people's standards (let alone a college student's).  The mall outside being the area that housed McDonalds and other like places, so we found out.  The second level had Polo shops, Rolex, and Swarovsky shops, just to give and idea of the price tag on the floor (super attractive baristas though, no complaints there).  The third level was even more expensive, with companies I've never heard of showcasing cars that only real buffs would have ever heard of, all with pricetags that would be more than I'll probably make in my life.  But the lady at the third gate liked me because I wasn't afraid to just go to the front of the line and get through the gate, and she was pretty cute too, so a plus to Munich's staffing.
        The flight wasn't long, though it was 9 hours.  Unfortunately, we landed at O'hare airport in Chicago early.  We originally had planned only a 5 hour layover there.  To begin, the airport is a maze, requiring shuttles to get around from area to area.  Then the lines were long, and the prices for what meager American food they offered were expensive.  The one element I loved was that everything was Jazz themed.  Then came the waiting for our flight.  That day two planes collided in the takeoff lanes, clipping one plane's wings, creating a nasty bit of delays, and required us to move to a different dock.  There, our plane came 2 hours late, and we were all jetlagged to death, tired, and waiting for our ride home.  We finally left at 10pm, got back to Utah at midnight, and just as I was the first one to show up to the airport, so was I the last one to leave.
        This trip was an unbelievable experience to grow, learn, and love as a person, musician, traveler, scholar, just all around really.  It tied up my tenure as a Bengal beautifully, gave me a send off that was unbeatable, and has given me inspiration and motivation for my next adventure.  So hopefully in the Summer of '13, I'll be heading to Paris and London!  Stay tuned folks.

5/29/12 What It's All About

        The last full day for our tour and group as a whole.  The day started normal enough- begin with breakfast, rehearse in a large group, and then head out for lunch on the town.  We met up with our good friend el Bruce (brew-chay) and Austin and headed for a lunch in the old city.  We sit down outside at a lower key looking restaurant and try one last Austrian meal.  I ordered what I had been wanting for the entire time I was visiting the country- sausage.  Really, when you think of German/Austrian cooking, the first two things that come to mind are usually sausage or weinerschnizzle.  With the order of sausage came fries, and I ordered a small beer to go with the meal.

A silly lunch.

        What came next was perhaps the silliest part of the entire tour, a plate with what just basically appeared to be cut hotdogs and french fries and a beer light enough to be apple juice.  My friends and I had a great laugh at this, but the best part about the whole meal, was that it was fantastic!  The sausage had a great spice to it and was far from being your run-of-the-mill ballpark frank.  The fries were the best fries I've ever had in my life, which since I'm from Idaho and staying in Austria, was a riot to me.  The beer was light, but full and bready, refreshing enough to help beat the midday heat and not get me drunk before the next rehearsal.

        After lunch we had a trip to the Swarovsky crystal factory/museum.  I will say this upfront- the Austrians are nothing, if not creative, and innovative, on how to entertain guests.  Our guides had been very tight-lipped about what the hell this Swarovsky thing was, aside from a crystal museum.  What we were in store for I believe took all of us by surprise- a modern art museum made for/by/with Swarovsky crystals.  

And THIS is what greeted us.

        It was trippy, and a festival for every sense.  I can say I've never been to a real modern art museum, but if that is what they are all like, I'm a fan.  It was different, unexpected, a bit gaudy at time (but with crystals everywhere, what the hell can you expect?), but I loved it.  And since it was also the factory, the museum did its job well. There was a store at the end where you could buy crystal products, and of course I really wanted something from there.  I had a hard time choosing between the cufflinks or a ring, and I went with the ring, and think it's the best purchase I've made in a long time, because every time I look at it, I remember this awesome trip, and it makes me that much better looking.  After the store is a cafe, where they have a real gallery of paintings from modern artists hanging on the wall.  They had an authentic Degas, and that made me happier.  The whole of it is beyond describing with just words alone, but I think the best way to describe it is "acid trip."

        As we headed back to Innsbruck proper, we also headed to our last rehearsal.  In the case of over half of our choir, would be the last rehearsal any of us would have with that university, and the performance that night our finale.  Our rehearsal passed, we readied for the concert, and then we were off to it.

        An omen of how the performance was to be, our director, Dr. A, gave us a prep talk before heading into our final performance.  It was emotional, and it was powerful, and validated much of myself as a musician.  The house was not packed, but it was still a powerful performance because of what it was about, and because of the work we did to get there.  Needless to say, a few select songs made me tear up, and after the performance as well.

        Our final dinner was at the pizzeria we had been to the other night.  There we gave our guide a farewell gift we had all passed around and written in and signed so that he could remember the great times we had together, and he was moved to tears by the motion.

        We made our way back to the hotel to grab a few celebratory drinks.  As for myself, I had a 10 euro G&T with topshelf materials.  Was totally worth it!  Then came the last sleep in Austria and Europe.